Well. Here I am. And you guys are gone. My first blog post in a while. Yippee! Too bad though, that most of the stuff going on right now isn't rainbows and butterflies.
Tensions, and emotions, are running rampant in my house. It's hard to watch my mom and grandma talk about what to do for the memorial. You can just see that it's killing them inside.
They shouldn't have to do this.
I miss you guys.
I feel like an emotional barrel. A barrel that's buried in the middle of the earth. It's SO buried that it's come out the other side of the earth so that it's not buried anymore. But it is.
This post represents a small bit of what's inside that barrel.
My emotions. What I'm feeling.
I feel like, if I put my feelings, my emotions, the things I keep hidden, out there for people to see...then I make myself vulnerable. They're out there. For people to comment about, to criticize, to judge, to think about, to KNOW.
I'm going against every fiber of my being by posting this.
I feel helpless. I'm strong in front of my family. I'm strong in front of myself. I'm strong in front of you.
But in front of my computer. My words. I quake.
I have to watch my family go through this hard time. It's painful, for them and for me.
I want it to be over.
Wow. You guys wanted me to talk, you got me to talk. And you aren't even here. There's some skills right there.
Sorry it had to be so depressing.
Donald Trudeau died on November 30, 2010. He was the best grandpa I could have ever had. He was always happy, always smiling, and I've never looked up to anyone like I looked up to him. There were so many things I wanted to say to him. But never did.
"Grandpa Turtle", as we used to call him, will be forever in my heart.
And one day I'll see him again.
-A
All I ask is that you pray for my Grandma and Mom. They're taking it super hard.
Thank you.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Monday, June 6, 2011
Quote
Well now that I've posted once might as well keep going :) Here is a quote from a book I read recently (in an hour!!) that I liked about companionship.
"First of all, Jesus sends the twelve out in pairs (Mark 6:7). We keep forgetting that we are being sent out two-by-two. We cannot bring good news on our own. We are called to proclaim the Gospel together, in community. There is a divine wisdom here. 'If two of you on earth agree to ask anything at all, it will be granted to you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three meet in my name, I am among them" (Matthew 18:19-20). You might already have discovered for yourself how radically different traveling alone is from traveling together. I have found over and over again how hard it is to be truly faithful to Jesus when I am alone. I need my brothers or sisters to pray with me, to speak with me about the spiritual task at hand, and to challenge me to stay pure in mind, heart, and body. But far more importantly, it is Jesus who heals, not I; Jesus who speaks words of truth, not I; Jesus who is Lord, not I. This is very clearly made visible when we proclaim the redeeming power of God together. Indeed, whenever we minister together, it is easier for people to recognize that we do not come in our own name, but in the name of the Lord Jesus who sent us."
-In The Name of Jesus, Henri J.M. Nouwen
-K
"First of all, Jesus sends the twelve out in pairs (Mark 6:7). We keep forgetting that we are being sent out two-by-two. We cannot bring good news on our own. We are called to proclaim the Gospel together, in community. There is a divine wisdom here. 'If two of you on earth agree to ask anything at all, it will be granted to you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three meet in my name, I am among them" (Matthew 18:19-20). You might already have discovered for yourself how radically different traveling alone is from traveling together. I have found over and over again how hard it is to be truly faithful to Jesus when I am alone. I need my brothers or sisters to pray with me, to speak with me about the spiritual task at hand, and to challenge me to stay pure in mind, heart, and body. But far more importantly, it is Jesus who heals, not I; Jesus who speaks words of truth, not I; Jesus who is Lord, not I. This is very clearly made visible when we proclaim the redeeming power of God together. Indeed, whenever we minister together, it is easier for people to recognize that we do not come in our own name, but in the name of the Lord Jesus who sent us."
-In The Name of Jesus, Henri J.M. Nouwen
-K
Sunday, June 5, 2011
WHOA
Ok wow. So...we went to the homeschool prom which was pretty awesome, oriental themed. We danced and stuff... :P Yeah.
And me and A went camping and then we went camping again but with S that time and a bunch of boy scouts. And we planned the next medical TV drama.
And I took my AP tests, and S got her lisence, and summer came and we finished school (except for S) and we did a bunch of fun stuff outside and me and A went rafting with my family and I helped cook for Kids Camp bootcamp and M and S are going to be group leaders this year (wooooot!)
Aaaannnddd....we watched X-Men last night ("beautiful man....") and we watched Madagascar 2 this morning (amazing movie).
On Wednesday A and I are going canoeing for 5 days. Tomorrow M and S start Kids Camp. Summer is here and it is blissful. Trigger and Solomon are very strong.
Me and M are done teaching preschool...I bought a swimsuit on ebay. Calvinism is different. We're trying to buy Les Miserables tickets for this summer (BEST BIRTHDAY PRESENT EVER!!!!!!)
And that's all I can think of now.
-K
And me and A went camping and then we went camping again but with S that time and a bunch of boy scouts. And we planned the next medical TV drama.
And I took my AP tests, and S got her lisence, and summer came and we finished school (except for S) and we did a bunch of fun stuff outside and me and A went rafting with my family and I helped cook for Kids Camp bootcamp and M and S are going to be group leaders this year (wooooot!)
Aaaannnddd....we watched X-Men last night ("beautiful man....") and we watched Madagascar 2 this morning (amazing movie).
On Wednesday A and I are going canoeing for 5 days. Tomorrow M and S start Kids Camp. Summer is here and it is blissful. Trigger and Solomon are very strong.
Me and M are done teaching preschool...I bought a swimsuit on ebay. Calvinism is different. We're trying to buy Les Miserables tickets for this summer (BEST BIRTHDAY PRESENT EVER!!!!!!)
And that's all I can think of now.
-K
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